did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
