she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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