fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
