I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
