i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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