eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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