You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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