i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
