Yo dont text me then not text me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
