She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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