Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
birth control should be required to get into college
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize