Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
