just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
