im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
