where does the pee come out of this thing
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize