I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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