Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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