Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize