i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
