i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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