11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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