I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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