i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
