the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
