and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
