She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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