Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
