I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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