I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
