I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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