I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
