you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
