Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
