There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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