I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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