Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
