she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize