Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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