You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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