Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
