Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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