My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
