So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize