Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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