I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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