Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
