Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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