mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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