I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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