my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
