He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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