I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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