whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
