To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
