Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I had to cum in my sink.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
