We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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