you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
