I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
