how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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