You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
