I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
