Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
