she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
